Okay y’all, weird history facts hit different when you’re 30-something, sitting alone in your dimly lit apartment in [current US city redacted for privacy], eating cold pizza at 2:17 a.m. while the radiator makes that weird clicking noise like it’s judging you.
weird history facts have become low-key my hyperfixation lately and honestly it’s probably not healthy.
Like, I was supposed to be doing laundry tonight but instead I fell down a Wikipedia rabbit hole about 19th-century grave robbing and now I’m convinced my downstairs neighbor is secretly a resurrection man because he’s always carrying suspiciously long duffel bags at 3 a.m. (probably just golf clubs, tylo, calm down)
Why These Weird History Facts Messed Me Up So Bad
I swear no one prepared me for how unhinged history actually is. They told us about the Boston Tea Party and Paul Revere but conveniently left out the part where:
- People in 1666 London literally thought the Great Fire was God’s punishment… until they also had the Great Stink in 1858 and realized maybe it was just the open sewers. Bro. They had to literally cut through the city and build the first modern sewer system because the smell was so bad Parliament had to evacuate. I’m sitting here with my window cracked because my neighbor’s cooking fish again and I’m complaining. Perspective.
- In 1910-1911 there was a guy named William Hooper Young who murdered his cousin and then tried to blame it on “a negro” and the Mormon church had to get involved and—look I’m spiraling. Point is, weird history facts like that make you realize humans have always been messy in exactly the same ways.
The One Weird History Fact That Still Gives Me Chills Every Time
Okay real talk. The Dancing Plague of 1518.
People in Strasbourg just started… dancing. Non-stop. For days. Weeks. Some danced until they died of exhaustion or heart attacks. Authorities literally built a stage and hired musicians to “dance it out” thinking that would help.
I think about that when I’m doom-scrolling at 4 a.m. unable to stop. Like bro are we still doing the same thing just with worse lighting?
More Weird History Facts I Wish I Could Un-Learn (But Can’t)
Here’s the chaotic list I keep in my phone notes because I’m that person:
- The Pope once put a corpse on trial (Cadaver Synod, 897 AD). The dead pope’s body was propped up in full regalia and “questioned.” The new pope screamed at the corpse. It “confessed.” Then they mutilated the body and threw it in the Tiber. I threw up a little when I first read that at like 11 p.m. on a Tuesday.
- In 1814 London there was the Beer Flood. A giant vat of porter (dark beer) burst and destroyed everything in its path. Eight people drowned in beer. EIGHT. In BEER.
- Ancient Romans used to use human urine as mouthwash. Because ammonia. I’m never going to be okay again.
I’m sorry. I just needed to tell someone. My roommate moved out last month and now it’s just me and these cursed facts.
Wrapping This Unhinged Ramble Up
Look, weird history facts are proof that humans have always been absolutely ridiculous, violent, stupid, creative, and disgusting in equal measure.
I’m not saying go down the rabbit hole at 2 a.m. like your girl here (bad idea, highly do not recommend, I have regrets), but maybe next time someone starts droning on about “the good old days,” just whisper “dancing plague” or “cadaver synod” under your breath and watch them slowly unravel.
Outbound Links
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dancing_plague_of_1518
https://www.history.com/news/dancing-plague-strasbourg-1518
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadaver_Synod
https://www.britannica.com/event/London-Beer-Flood
